Thursday, June 29, 2006
Well, after an education that only marriage provides, I’ve got a new answer – I’d want the ability to make women lose their short term memories by giving them a kiss – or in more practical terms, I’d want to be able to give a “Superkiss”.
What’s a Superkiss? Well, it’s a power that Superman displayed in Superman II and Superman IV. Basically, by kissing a woman (Lois Lane in both cases), Supes is able to make the kissee forget everything that happened previously. In the movies, Clark uses this power to make Lois forget that he is really Superman.
Now think about the possibilities that this power that this would give you in your normal, everyday life. “Honey, I’m sorry I’m late. I know that I said that I’d be home by 9, but the guys wanted to stay at the bar a little longer. You know how we love those Hooters’ chicken wings.” Well, you don’t have to deal with those conversations anymore – just give your old lady a superkiss and tell you that you’ve been home for hours.
Forget to pick up the kids? Superkiss.
Spent all day watching the game instead of some artsy movie? Superkiss.
Made a bad joke about her weight/mother/bestfriend? Superkiss.
Though looking at the picture on the left, looks like Supes did a bit more than kiss. In fact, he's got one of those "What The 'Hey-Hey' Did I Just Do" looks on his face. Too bad he couldn't kiss himself so that he forgot about the whole deal.
But then, even Superman's got flaws.
One of his early posts about Genesis Chapter 2 was particularly insightful:
2:18-24: Before God creates Eve, He brings all the animals to Adam, so that Adam can give all of them their names. This episode captures something fundamental about the male brain: our obsessive categorizing behavior. I once spent a whole spring looking at Washington, D.C., taxicabs to see if I could memorize every cab company—there are scores and scores of them—by the paint scheme on its cars. The bird-watcher, the stamp collector, the guy trying to visit every Starbucks in America—we are all re-enacting in a small way Adam's introduction to the animals.
You know, he’s right. Men list everything. Maybe it’s our gift from Adam – to categorize and chart everything on this green earth. Maybe this is why men like shows like ESPN’s Pardon the Interruption and FSN’s The Sports List.
Which leads us into tonight’s NBA draft. As any NBA fans knows, the draft is where teams futures are made (see 2003 - Wade, Dwayne) or lost (see 1998 – Olowo”Can’t he”, Michael). This draft doesn’t have a lot of superstars, but it does have quality players, which causes a lot of debate among fans.
Bill Simmons does a great NBA Draft Diary, and there’s no way I can come close to topping that, however I wanted to do my part to add to the draft hype. My plan was to list the top 10 draft day remembrances.
Unfortunately, while I could come up with a decent list, I couldn’t find the pictures and video to accompany the commentary. Where’s the video of Steve “Franchise” crying after being select by Vancouver or of Samuel Dalembert jumping out of the Madison Square Garden crowd to shake the commissioner’s hand? (Fortunately, I was able to find a photo of Jalen Rose’s gangster-red pinstriped “Crips 4 Life” suit).
Anyway, in lieu of that, I decided instead of focus on another love – comic books. Or in this case, comic book movies. With Superman Returns coming out today, I thought it would be fitting to highlight what I consider to be the greatest comic book movies ever made.
5. Blade. I’m sure some of you didn’t know that was originally based on a character created by Marvel. Blade’s been around since the late 70’s. What’s not to like about this movie? Great anti-hero (a Black guy, nonetheless). Good action. A believable story (as far as comic books go). And a memorable quote – “Some mickiefickies are always trying to ice-skate uphill.”
4. Batman – Mask of the Phantasm. Yeah, it’s an animated movie, but that doesn’t take anything away from this movie. Kevin Conroy does a great job voicing the Dark Knight. Alan Burnett and Paul Dini (the masterminds behind the animated characters in Teen Titans, Batman the Animated Series, Superman, and Justice League) are at their finest. And don’t be fooled; just because the movie is animated doesn’t mean that bad stuff doesn’t happen. People bleed. People die. And Batman get’s it on.
3. Spiderman – An all around great movie. If Tobey Maguire isn’t Peter Parker, then no one is. Kristen Dunst is a great Mary Jane. The action scenes look incredible; it truly looks like a man is swinging through New York City. Sam Raimi’s direction is top-notch. And Danny Elfman wrote a heck of a score (check out Farwell on the soundtrack).
2. Superman II – What! Superman II? Not the original Superman? Yup, that’s right. Superman II has its flaws, but overall the story is better that the original movie? Why. 3 words – “Kneel Before Zod.” As my brother often says, you can’t have a superhero without supervillains; as great as Lex Luthor is, it just doesn’t compare to 3 villains with Superman’s powers but without his moral fortitude. Don’t get me wrong, this movie has a lot of flaws. Richard Lester should never be allowed to direct movies again. Ken Thorne BUTCHERED John Williams’ score. All the comedy can be removed. Still, with its flaws and holes (explained here), it’s a solid movie. Chris Reeve was a good Superman and a great Clark Kent. Three scenes that will make you believe in the power of Christopher Reeve’s Superman/Clark:
2. Superman climbs from the bus wreckage, surveys the destruction around him, and flies off to the Fortress of Solitude
3. Clark and Lois together in the Daily Planet before the “Super Kiss” (FYI – The Superkiss deserves it own entry. I’ll have to write about later on.)
1. Batman (the 1989 version). This is a great movie. You actually believed that a man, with no superpowers, could dress up like a winged creature and fight crime. The set looks fabulous (new school technology with an old school/film noir look). Michael Keaton pulled off 3 characters – Batman, Bruce Wayne, and Batman without the costume (Bruce in the Batcave w/ Vicky Vale, Bruce at the site of his parents murder, Bruce in the Batcave reviewing video footage from the party). Elfman again creates a great score. Jack is great as Joker. Even Kim Basinger does alright as Vicky Vale.
Monday, June 26, 2006
However, I’ve still got a lot on my mind and a lot to say, so I thought that a blog would be a good outlet. And “The Life and Times of Coltrane Jenkins” sounded pretty cool. (By the way, it’s a beast to spell, so link it now).
Why blog? Why not? I’ve got some good ideas and theories. I’ve got some bad ones, too. Maybe some of you will be interested… or maybe not.
Besides my crazy theories, I’ll link some audio and video files from time to time, too. I won’t have links to full albums or anything link that, but I might stream a song or two that you might dig.
I’ll try to keep my posts short and sweet. I may ramble a bit, but so does George Bush, and he’s seemed to make out alright.
So just to start the blog off right, I’m including streams to two great songs – old school and new school.
I'ma make it do what it do!!!